Being a Jr. Adult in your 20s

When I was younger I thought, like most dumb teenagers, that I would turn 18 and then BAM, I’d be an adult! And if I’m being honest I lived in that dumbass La La Land for awhile, it took me a few years to realize that I was actually in the “Jr Adult” stage of life. I was walking around talking about “I’m grown” while also having no idea what a 401K or a fixed interest rate was.

Ok so, technically I’m still not super clear on the whole 401k thing is, but I do know that its like money for when I’m old, gotta afford my adult diapers and teeth glue somehow. #growth. Now I should have known that this stage existed cause when I was younger I was a huge Sims fan, and for all my other Simoholics out there you know that the stages of life were: Infant, toddler, Child, Teen, Young Adult, Adult, and then Elder. Of course, I’m not talking about the original sims games, in that game 2 sims kissed like 50 times and then bam a bassinet popped up, and then that bassinet magically turned into a child, and finally in like 1 sim week (which is only about an hour) the bassinet baby turned into an adult.

Now that I’m writing it out my idea of growing up was kinda like the first sims. My parents kissed a bunch, had me, and then magically I'd wake up one day, turn 18 and be hella grown forever. Walk out my room like, this is the new me parents, I will now call you Monica and Joe and you may refer to me as "grown as Jasmin" forever more.

That analogy lasted longer than I expected. Sorry I always get a little side tracked. This post isn’t about The Sims, so we’ll move along.

It feels like every day I realize new reasons and ways that being an adult sucks, the Jr adult phase of life is literally just filled with moments that make you realize its all downhill from here. You’re  currently in your prime, but too busy barely paying bills and figuring out how to file taxes to fully enjoy it. 2 weeks ago I had to cuss out teenage Jasmin, she seriously didn’t know how good she had it. I had a low tire for months, I just kept re putting air in it while driving on hopes and dreams, trusting that the shit wouldn’t pop. The check tire light on my car became somewhat of a friend to me. We bonded honestly, his name was Larry… Larry the tire light.

I finally put my big girl panties on and got my tire changed, hopped in my car and said farewell to my homie Larry. I was riding smooth. My car was driving nice and I was feeling proud. Even went through the car wash afterwards (because my car was a real reflection of my life at that point, a hot ass mess). I got home stepped back to admire my new tire and then the worst possible thing happened. I looked at my back tire on the same side and right there looking me dead in my eyes was a nail! Not even in the tire I had just replaced, that would have been fine cause I could have just caused a scene, blamed that on Walmart, and had them replace it. As i'm getting older i'm turning more and more into the customers i hated when i was younger. You know that meme of the white woman asking to speak to the manager over her expired coupon, thasss me! But of course I’ve never been that lucky. The nail was in the back tire on the same exact side. Like here I was thinking I was finally getting my life together and the universe was like “bishhh you thought”.

If I didn’t have kids I would have said a prayer every morning and kept it pushing until tax return season, but I couldn’t drive around with them in the car, not knowing if my tire would pop or not. Gotta be a responsible mom or whatever. So, in one weekend I already had spent $98 to get one tire changed, and now I had to pay $108 to get the other one cause of some tire rotation charge they apparently forgot to charge me the first time, count my blessings I guess right. I couldn’t help but be annoyed at my young self who wanted a car so badly!

Just wanted to park in the school parking lot Senior year with all her friends, thinking she was a boss ass bitch riding around on her parent’s gas money.

Now all I can think about is how high insurance premiums get when you put a teenager on it. My kids cant drive until they asses get some JOOOOOOBSSSS. I don’t even want to think about the fact that there’s a huge ass crack on my windshield and registration will be due AGAIN in 4 months! I’ll save those expenses for tax return season Jasmin though, cause I know she got my back.

This will definitely have to be a series of posts, there’s just too much adult shit that sucks for one single post. So if you didn’t think this was too whiny, see ya next time lol.