Barely Surviving Your 20s



For me being a 20 something has proven to be quite the challenge. I find myself feeling too old for “kid shit” and too young for “adult shit”. Like old enough to file taxes, but not old enough to keep receipts all year or actually understand how that shit work (thank god for TurboTax). I feel like the middle child of age groups, the group that society (our figurative parents) leaves alone to figure it out, while doting on the children and making sound excuses for the erratic behavior of our older siblings, the real adults, blaming their failures on “midlife crisis” and describing their successes as “adulting”. I’m 23, am I supposed to be partying, drinking and hooking up, or getting a jump start on my 401k and learning about investments. Am I supposed to fight to the death for the relationship I’m in now and strive for longevity, or follow advice a semi-wise, slightly crazy, woman once gave me and “date em all”? Am I supposed to choose now to follow my dreams, or relax and binge watch Netflix shows because ultimately I have time, right? On top of not knowing which route I’m supposed to take, as a result of partying naked, I’m also a mother. And if you find yourself in this even more complex group of 20 somethings then you understand my emotional and mental confusion. I feel this maternal urge to have life figured out for my child and to push myself towards success in any way possible, while also every once in a while being struck by the fact that I’m ONLY 23. If I start grinding now I’ll be doing so for the next 50 years, or on the other hand if I don’t start now I’ll be a broke 30 something, fearing how close my 40’s are, and no longer having the excuse of being in my 20’s and having “time” to figure it out. And as I begin to have friends inviting me to weddings and more high school classmate making baby announcements, I realize that time has continued to pass me, and will only keep doing so. Faster and faster the years will go by, but I can’t stand in the corner shitting my pants in horror at the crappy options I think are available to me. I’m only 23, but I’m also already 23. The way that life is set up, it seems that I can either focus on the only: and not think too far into the future. Or I can focus on the already: and start planning for the rest of my life now. But what if I want to do both? How can I do both? In order for me to find happiness and enjoy the moment I’m living in now, while also being enthused about the moments I’ll get to live tomorrow, I have to somehow find a balance. And that’s what this blog is for, trying my best to do what some have already figured out but most are still working towards, trying to survive my twenties…. Barely!

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